Attatchment

I got locked out of my house once, and had to climb through the window to get back in. The window frame dug into my leg as I climbed over, there was barely enough room for me to get through, and I barley avoided bashing my head against the dresser before I finally got in. I think that's something people don't take into account when they say that god opens a window whenever he closes a door.

So when a door is closed on me, even when it's slammed shut, I don't look for a window. Even when a thousand windows open around me, I stand at the door hoping it will open again soon. And I'll scratch at the door like a dog that doesn't know he's been abandoned.

I was nothing but a dog through that whole relationship. Just a stupid puppy that spilled my heart out to her the moment we met. And it's not like I didn't hold back either, there was a whole torrent of emotions I was holding back on. I'm so used to having to force my emotions out too. It was an amazing frustration having to hold them back for once.
It wasn't perfect. There were a lot of problems, but she was too nervous to bring them up, and I was to naive to notice them. I'm not gullible, but when I love someone I think the very best of them for as long as I can, even to to my own detriment.

That's how I wound up where I was back in march. I've been doing my best to move on and I've opened up to a great many people

...but I still keep my eye on that door.


Update:
Finally moved away from that door.